Why does this not happen to me every morning, afternoon, evening, and night?
Currently, my dog hates me because she's spending her time either in a Cone of Shame and Sadness or with a sock taped to her foot.
She's not speaking to me at the moment.
That's what she gets for stomping on a fire ant hill and gnawing her foot to the point of infection. On a serious note, she will survive and has been spoiled with rawhide (as evidenced by the above photograph).