Perfect Way to Start Your Day

Why does this not happen to me every morning, afternoon, evening, and night?

Currently, my dog hates me because she's spending her time either in a Cone of Shame and Sadness or with a sock taped to her foot.

She's not speaking to me at the moment.

That's what she gets for stomping on a fire ant hill and gnawing her foot to the point of infection.  On a serious note, she will survive and has been spoiled with rawhide (as evidenced by the above photograph).